I might be a bit late but there it is!
Oh man, I haven't even thought about logging in for a while but it suddenly came to me today. I think a lot has happened since I last posted a journal here (and y'know what, I haven't talked about the last few months of my life to anybody so here's a vent summary)
So, I think I was heading into my final academic school year when I logged in last (many months ago) and was still at that point struggling greatly mental-health-wise. But all kinds of stuff has happened since then - I wasn't allowed to complete the biology course because I'd completely failed the exam, I didn't handle the transition to a new history class well and missed a lot of time due to the flu. I was also miles behind with my art coursework and in a bit of a mess. Eventually I cracked under the pressure and had to speak with the head of my sixth form, and I was allowed to stay on in school to finish my art course but quit history. Around that same time I started getting proper therapy for social anxiety!!
Only going to art lessons made things a lot easier for me. My class is smaller this year so it's been more manageable to attend the lessons. I have only one scheduled lesson nearly every day and spend the other 'school hours' doin artwork outside of lessons - and I can adapt to this ok most of the time (there are more times when the depression is really hitting me and I can't give as much of my focus to work but I just do what I can)
I'm now ridiculously busy with the coursework and am approaching the deadline! On Feb 20th I will be done with this project for good and will move onto a smaller project that will finish in around May - and at that point I think I will be done with school for good? and it's gonna be such a relief
And with the cognitive behavioural therapy - it was definitely useful! My last session was nearly a month ago and I believe I can go back after 3 months if I need to. Which I might, who knows. I'm nowhere near cured of anxiety but I have a better grasp of it all and what's going to help me get better. I still see a therapist in school every fortnight and it's just very useful for me to have somebody to talk to only about how I'm feeling and not have any obligation like with family or friends. I think I still need those sessions to to focus on the depression side of things because the two are deadly when together and are hard to fix (there's always one of them holding you back)
So! I've been in the middle of some crappy times again but things are looking up for now! I'm working hard and doing my best! And by the end of Feb I will have a bit more time to myself! (Thank goodness the deadline is before March 3rd because I'm throwing all my responsibilities out of the window once the new Legend of Zelda game is out)
I would like to be here more often but I don't know just how much time I'll have during my other art project (either way I'll try!)
What else has happened since last time...
!!!! what the heck is the US doing? why Donald Trump of all people? I think monkeys are more qualified?? I don't even live there and I only recently calmed my rage about that.
Oh! I'm also pretty much a vegan now - for nearly 5-6 months? I lost count. The only animal products I will excuse are honey and milk/egg products in Quorn (the meat alternative) because otherwise I end up eating nothing but cereal
which I'd be fine with but I dont' wanna die
mmm... my dog is still super cute, my cat gets more and more beautiful every day, one of my fish is dying and? i'm still very much closeted but I realised that I'm a lil bit gay
I dont' know really... I'm still quite out of touch with myself and it's something I'm working on but I'm making all kinds of progress
and maybe i'll be here a bit more
whew i'ev reached that point where grammar has slipped away from me